Beginnings and Endings

I may be a bit premature with this posting because I technically don’t finish until Wednesday, but I wanted to tell you all about my college experience: how it began, how it went, and how it has ended.

My first day of college.

Technically, my first day wasn’t really my first day because I had done a year of college in high school (thank you, Upward Bound!) but it still felt like the first day.  I didn’t get lost, I didn’t drop my books, but I was entering a new arena of life and I felt very small amidst all of those grown-ups.

The first rule I learned at college was not about astronomy though, despite what my book says; it was this: Always check for wedding rings.  And who knew that by the end, I would be wearing one of my own?  I sure didn’t!

My biggest regret about college was that first year.  For the first few months, I still lived at home and my mother happened to be attending the same school at the same time.  I was selfish and I constantly acted embarrassed to be around her.  I wanted her to drop me off before she parked so we wouldn’t have to walk together. I didn’t want to eat lunch with her. I wouldn’t even ask her how her day had been when we got home.  I’d give anything to go back and change how I acted toward her those months.

I moved to a different city, went to a different school, and suddenly I realized how much I missed my family, and how very little I cared about what those strangers at school had thought of me.  Even though I didn’t have a car, I made frequent trips back down to my family and I was never embarrassed to be seen with them again; in fact, I wanted everyone at school to see how amazing my mother was for making the hard decisions she’d had to make to get there.  I don’t know if my behavior ever made up for that first year, but I tried my best.

I learned all about roommates, and paying bills, and spent more time thinking about boys than I probably should have, and I’m sure I took some classes in there somewhere.  But most importantly, I learned about myself.  It seems cliche, but I learned how to be a better friend, a better Latter-Day Saint, and a better person.  I learned how to be a grown-up, then a girlfriend, and finally, a wife.

I’ve spent the last three and a half years at this University.  I’ve spent many days studying and fretting over tests (including tomorrow) and I’ve churned out more papers than should be legal.  You’d think I would be happy, ecstatic even, but I think bittersweet is a better word.  When you put your life into something for years, it is hard to see it end.  I have no idea what the next chapter of my life is, but I know that it will be even more challenging, and if it’s possible, better than the last.

My last day of college.

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4 thoughts on “Beginnings and Endings

  1. I didn’t mind. I know it’s not easy to have your MOTHER at school with you. I’m so proud of you. Thank you for being my daughter! And thank you for encouraging your sister to go to school as well. She needed your support and now she’s doing great! Give yourself one great big huge pat on the back. You deserve it!

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